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How to be Confident in 5 steps

What is Confidence? Confidence is a way of being, a particular sense of certainty an individual has about themselves and their capabilities. Not everyone is confident and the lack of it may be something you want to work at.

When we were children we thought we could conquer the world! However, somewhere between childhood and adulthood are dreams got squashed. This is often done by our influencing adults in our lives, such as parents and teachers. Who started imposing on their own beliefs of what can and cannot be done by us! Of Course, as children we often feel like we don't have a voice or one we have, we best keep quiet, as sometimes that's how it may seem. Have you heard the phrase "kids must be seen and not heard"! So we start following a set of rules that are laid out in front of us and all we want to do is please and get the acknowledgement that we are doing a good job. In the meantime getting further away from our own purpose of who we are and comply with the rules set.

So in order to gain more confidence in yourself, you have to find who you are, trust yourself and find out what makes you feel good about you. A few steps that might help you along your journey are;

Step 1, Stretch yourself.

Do something that makes you go out of your comfort zone. Something that makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable. Once you achieve this, it will allow you to trust yourself and have belief in your abilities.

Step 2, Change your self-talk.

Start talking to yourself in a positive way, when you have a situation where you feel like you can't do something based on the past instead of saying for example, "I can't do this" Try adding "yet". This just lets your brain know that it may be true your struggling to do something but it is only a matter of time before you will. So add "yet" to everything.

Step 3, Set small challenges for yourself.

Find ways of celebrating your small successes by congratulating yourself often. Do a to-do list and tick things off as you get them done and remember to celebrate this win. This allows these incidents to be logged in your memory and shows your inner critic that you can do lots of things successfully and like you have achieved something for yourself. When you get things done you feel so much better even if it is one thing on your to-do list.

Step 4, Say Affirmations.

Using affirmations help us to feel positive and lift our mood. A great way to use affirmations is to use them as a question, for example, "Why am I so awesome at making friends?" as suppose to " I am so awesome at making friends". Reason for using this technique is our brains are biologically wired to solve problems and find answers to questions without analyzing them for accuracies. Our brain believes what we tell it!

Step 5, Visualise how you want things to be.

Visualisation is a technique you can use to see how you would look, feel, and behave if you were that person who achieved that goal you always wanted to. How to know what confidence looks like is to see who you admire or think is confident and see how they look, and behave and imitate that behaviour in your visualisation. The more you use this tool the more awareness you create in the universe. One of my favourite quotes from Napoleon Hill;

" Whatever your mind can conceive and believe the mind can achieve".

I hope you find these steps helpful in becoming confident. I would love to know how you got on. Feel free to leave a comment and subscribe to my website. If you would like any further tips on anything, in particular, your finding challenging please email me or leave a comment and I will see what I can do. Take care of yourself!


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Thank you for taking the time to read it. I am pleased you found it helpful. Tune in weekly to see other posts. Keep sharing and Look after yourself.


Very useful information :)

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